Family Dynamics Guiding Values

Every family and organization has a culture and shared values. These are the values that define the culture at Family Dynamics. These are the boundaries within which we choose to operate.

We strive to be unapologetically positive. There is already plenty of negativity around us. Our goal is to offer a positive perspective and positive solutions to life and family issues.

As a result, we have adopted the following manifesto.

The goal of life is to Live Well and Do Good.

As a result, we choose to embrace:

Light over Darkness

Life over Death

We do this by pursuing:

Love over Hate

Hope over Despair

Creation over Destruction

Honesty over Deception

Peace over Conflict.

Living well and doing good create life balance. It is an acceptable goal to live well. We believe that every individual has the right and the freedom to figure out what living well means to them. It can mean wealth, happiness, friendship, comfort, possessions, love, adventure, or any number of other things. It can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. It is any and all of the good things that make life worth living. It is what positive psychology calls "the good life." The United States Declaration of Independence calls it "the pursuit of happiness." In the Jewish tradition it is "shalom." Some Christians refer to it as the "abundant life." However you define it, it is an essential part of living. There is no virtue in denying or rejecting it. There is no benefit in refusing to live well. There is no value in judging those who define it differently than you or who have achieved it to a greater degree than you have. It is a fundamental human right and need to pursue it.

But the pursuit of living well finds its balance in the desire to do good. Those who live well will inevitably develop a desire to do good, as they define it. For some, doing good is synonymous with living well. If they are doing good, they feel that they are living well, even if they are living with only the basics of life. Our goal is to live and to teach others how to find balance in living well and doing good.

Since this is our goal, we embrace life over death and light over darkness. Death is the final ultimate reality for all of us. "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." Darkness is natural state of things without light. Both light and life require energy. Death will come for all of us in it's time. We accept that and prepare for it. But until then, we embrace life. Life and death find their meaning in each other. Life has meaning and value because it is rare and brief. Death has meaning based on the life that has preceded it. Light and Darkness are a pair. We would not know one without the other. But light is stronger than darkness. The smallest amount of light will make things less dark. Darkness cannot extinguish light. But light requires energy. And when that energy is depleted, the light goes out and the darkness returns. Therefore, we don't focus our efforts on eliminating darkness, we focus our energy on producing light.

Light exists in a spectrum. We have chosen to give expression to light and life through the Five Pursuits. These Pursuits are made in the form of choices. We choose to pursue the positive expressions rather than focusing on avoiding or eliminating the negative expressions. Therefore, we choose to define ourselves by what we love, not by what we hate. By hope, not despair. By what we want to create, not what we want to destroy. By honesty, not deception. By seeking peace, not conflict. All of the negatives on this list; hate, despair, destruction, deception, and conflict, are normal and natural parts of life. They are inevitable and unavoidable. They exist and occur whether we want them to or not. For this reason, we learn how to cope with them, but we do not allow them to become our focus or a distraction. We consciously discipline our thinking, our speech and our behavior toward the positive. This is who we are. This is how we define ourselves. This is how we seek to live well and do good.

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